The Cost of Fear and Conformity: What Middle School Taught Me About Leadership
It was 2002, and the clean version of What’s Luv? played as I stepped into my first middle school dance. The gym hummed with anticipation—streamers in the doorways, a disco ball scattering light, and a line of metal folding chairs hugging the walls.
Oli, in his signature red Converse and matching zipper earrings, stood apart. He was an 8th grader, and despite the rigid social rules of middle school, he had befriended us—the baby gays, the geeks, the kids who chose volunteering over braving the chaos of recess. We thought we had built a safe space. We thought we understood belonging.
As the dance wound down, Oli made a simple request: one dance. Just one. He didn’t say why, but something in his eyes told me it mattered—maybe he wanted to fit in, to prove something to our classmates, or maybe just to himself. I wanted to say yes. But fear of looking ridiculous rooted me in place. My friends froze too.
When Oli’s eyes met mine, pleading, I shook my head.
His face fell. Then, he did something unexpected. He picked up a folding chair and danced with it, twirling across the gym like a scene from Bridgerton. Laughter rippled through the crowd, but Oli didn’t stop. He closed his eyes and danced.
That night, I learned something important: fear keeps us from showing up for the people who need us most.
Fear and Conformity in Leadership
Injustice persists not because people don’t care, but because fear is a powerful force. It makes us hesitate when we should step forward. It convinces us that silence is safer than disruption, that conformity is better than conflict.
As a values-driven leader, you’ve likely faced moments where challenging the status quo felt risky—whether in a staff meeting, a funding discussion, or a collaboration with partners who don’t fully align with your mission. You see the problems, but speaking up could mean losing support, creating tension, or exposing yourself to criticism.
But here’s the truth: movements don’t thrive on safety. They thrive on people willing to take action even when it’s uncomfortable.
At Galvan Consulting, we see this dynamic play out in the administrative side of mission-driven work. Organizations pour themselves into their cause but often operate within systems that prioritize harmony over critical change. Team members hold back transformative ideas to avoid discomfort. Leaders shoulder operational burdens alone rather than disrupting inefficient structures. And in the process, the work suffers.
Choosing Boldness Over Comfort
What if your team didn’t let fear dictate their decisions? What if they asked the hard questions, challenged unhelpful norms, and created space for innovation? What if you had administrative support that didn’t just keep the wheels turning, but actively helped you remove obstacles to change?
That’s the kind of support Galvan Consulting provides. We don’t just handle logistics—we build systems that empower bold leadership. We ensure that your organization doesn’t have to choose between impactful work and sustainable operations. Because real change doesn’t happen when people play it safe. It happens when they choose to dance, even when the world is watching.
So, the next time you feel fear creeping in—whether in a meeting, a strategy session, or a decision about your organization’s future—ask yourself: are you playing it safe, or are you choosing to lead?
Because somewhere, someone like Oli is waiting for you to say yes.